On December 6th of 2022, I was serving my mission in the Bay Area of California. I woke up and grabbed all my suitcases and wrapped up my bedding and stuffed it into a laundry basket. I had already checked to make sure I had everything plenty of times in the past few days, but I still walked around the apartment 1 more time. Then, we got in the car and drove from Pleasanton to Fremont. I said bye to the elder I’d been serving with for the past month and was met by a new Elder who I had never seen before.
I had been reassigned to serve in the American Sign Language unit. This was not normal. Missionaries usually receive their language assignment one time and stick with it for the course of their missions. I had done 5 months in English and now I was being asked to switch to ASL. I didn’t know ASL.
I struggled a ton for the first few months in my new assignment. I lived in an apartment with 3 other Elders and their ASL seemed perfect. They were all older missionaries with admirable teaching skills, unbelievable confidence, and near-perfect obedience.
I still struggled to teach even the most basic ideas. I was shy all the time- even around my companions. I was still learning the rules. My ASL was absolutely infant. I would ask our Deaf friends to repeat what they said, fully knowing that no matter how many times they said it I still wouldn’t understand. I could start a prayer- “Dear Heavenly Father. . .” but had no clue how to sign any of the things I wanted to.
I felt totally Inadequate.
Fast forward about 10 months- I’m training 4 Elders straight from the MTC. It’s my responsibility to do all I can to teach these guys how to become missionaries and help them learn ASL. It doesn’t matter how hard I try or how much effort I spend trying to be an example- I feel totally inadequate.
Then I’m reading in Leviticus 5 and I notice a interesting pattern. look at this:
6 And he shall bring his trespass offering unto the Lord for his sin which he hath sinned, a female from the flock, a lamb or a kid of the goats, for a sin offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for him concerning his sin.
7 And if he be not able to bring a lamb, then he shall bring for his trespass, which he hath committed, two turtledoves, or two young pigeons, unto the Lord; one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering.
…
11 But if he be not able to bring two turtledoves, or two young pigeons, then he that sinned shall bring for his offering the tenth part of an ephah of fine flour for a sin offering; he shall put no oil upon it, neither shall he put any frankincense thereon: for it is a sin offering.
Lets walk through this. First, an acceptable trespass offering is defined as a female lamb. Then, we’re given a alternate sacrifice for those who cant afford to sacrifice a lamb- 2 turtle doves or 2 young pigeons. Then we get ANOTHER alternate sacrifice- a tenth part of an ephah of flour- about 2 pounds of flour- basically enough to make 2 loaves of bread.
Allow me to draw some lines and share why I think these verses are so important. The golden principle here is that God still wholly accepted the ‘lesser’ offerings. The key was that the Israelites were sacrificing the best they could. When I was a new ASL Elder, I was surrounded by those who gave God lambs every day. Meanwhile, I was carefully measuring out flour with my ‘tenth-part-of-an-ephah-cup’ and crying because it wasn’t a lamb. I failed to see the obvious- I was still doing my best and that’s all God had asked me to do.
My offering was still accepted.
Every time I offered my flour, God blessed me. God consecrated my efforts, helping me learn ASL and providing opportunities to become a confident teacher. As I embraced obedience, my daily offerings grew from turtle doves to lambs. Soon, I was comfortable approaching strangers and teaching them about the Book of Mormon. My trainees went on to become legendary missionaries—a result they were responsible for, but one I like to think I contributed to in some small way.
Stop comparing others’ offerings to yours. When the Israelites sacrificed their lambs/pigeons/flour it was never actually about what they were offering or who they were with or who was watching. It was always about their relationship with God and Jesus Christ.
If flour is all you can give right now- it is accepted.
Keep the fire burning.
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